


Something Has to Change

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Reader-Insert, Relationship Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 05:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14513817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Something Has to Change

“Please!” Spencer called.

Why did his voice have the power to freeze you in a moment? You didn’t want it to have that power. You wanted to be able to walk away because it would be easier - it would be easier than sitting here in this apartment day in and day out wondering whether or not the man you loved would come home.

“This is too hard,” you sobbed, inhaling sharply at your inability to breathe.

Turning around slowly, you cried into your hands and relaxed into his embrace. “I know this is hard. It’s hard for me too.”

You couldn’t deny that. Why did you have to go and fall in love with a man in the FBI? A man who wasn’t just a desk worker but confronted the worst of humanity on a near daily basis? 

Because he knocked into a pole trying to get your number, his hair falling limply but beautifully in his face.

Because he showed up to your first date with a bouquet of tulips, somehow knowing already that they were your favorite despite you never telling him as much. 

Because you feel safe in his arms.

It was this uncertainty.

Spencer had brought you back into the apartment, the door closing between the world you lived in now and the possibilities of what lay beyond with someone else, someone whose job didn’t threaten to take their lives every day.

“Spence, I can’t do this anymore! Do you understand the hollowness I feel in my chest every time you leave for work?”

He whispered against your ear, his grip tightening around your waist, probably in desperation to keep you close. “Yes, because it’s the same thing I feel every time I’m about to board the jet. I’m always afraid that I might not come back, but I push through because I know the good I’m doing and that I’m making the world safer for you.”

Another sob wrenched through your body. “That’s not fair.”

“It may not be, but it’s the truth.”

Pulling you down onto the couch, he gathered you close to him, pleading with you. “Don’t go. I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I love you too. That’s why this hurts so much,” you cried. It felt like the tears just kept coming, even when you thought there were no more left. 

The thought of something happening to him kept flooding your mind, causing you to spiral into another fit of sobs. Instead of trying to convince you he’d always be okay, he let you cry it out. He knew it was a futile effort to try and convince you that your worst fear would never come true.

When you were finally done crying, you moved off his lap, knowing that if you ultimately did decide to leave, having him so close would make it that much harder. “Spence, this hurts so much. I love you, but…I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

He grabbed your hands in his own and kissed them. “I can work things out with work. Maybe I can consult, or teach. Something. I’ll change my work schedule.”

“We’ve been through this. If you stopped working in the field because of me you’d come to resent me and I’d hate that even more than this.”

“At one point in my life, this job was everything to me. And I do still like what I do, but you are my priority now. If keeping this job means losing you, I can’t do it. I’m not saying it’ll be easy. Figuring this all out, but I’m just asking you to make the choice to stay. And fight for us.”

You were so tired. This life you lead was not what you had expected. I hurt to love him. But the idea of not loving him hurt too. It hurt more. And if you were honest with yourself, even if you left, you’d still love him. You always would. “Okay,” you breathed, leaning back into him, your head now resting on his leg. “I’ll stay. But something has to change.”


End file.
